"Ok, so, can I be Transparent?"

This came off someones fb…its kinda true.

People come and go, they’ll drift in and out of your life, immediately they exhaust the interest in you, you lost value, they disappear, NO WHERE TO BE SEEN, TO BE HEARD, NO MORE CALLS from them….. Almost like characters in your favorite book. When they finally close the cover, the characters have told their story and they start up again with another book, complete with new characters and adventures. Then you find yourself focusing on the new ones, not the ones from the past…

I hope dreams come true.

Last night I had a really vivid dream. It was sooooo real. It was kinda like a silent move because there was no talking.

In my dream was the man, well, of my dreams. He was a Japanese American man (which is cool, Im all about mixing cultures) He was about 6 feet tall, dark hair, beautiful smile, amazing eyes. When the dream started it was our wedding day, and somehow I knew I was dreaming because I understood that I had not actually met him, but I knew that I was really happy to be marrying him and I knew that it was Gods plan, and I could tell that he was really in love with me. There was just a really crazy almost spiritual feeling in the air…EVERYTHING said it was right.

So we get married, and then we were at home, hanging out, and having fun and just enjoying one another’s company. He would leave for work and he would look deeply into my eyes and his eyes would tell me that he loved me and that he couldnt wait to see me when he got home. He had this vibe about him something that flowed from his arms and his chest that said, ” I will protect you, and provide for you.” …He had really strong arms.

While he was at work I would hang out around the house, and run errands, and take care of our home I missed him REALLY bad while he was gone. When he would come home we would both be beside ourselves to see one another. It felt so warm…so perfect…so right.

The only part of the dream where there was any speaking was when he came home one day and somehow it hit me that we forgot to go on a honeymoon. After I told him he looked at me really deeply (he always looked deep into my eyes) and he said, “Yea, lets do it on your birthday or something.” I replied, “Really?! Okay!”  Then we laid on the bed and talked…

Then I woke up. -_-

I HATED that it was just a dream. It all seemed so real, and it was everything I wanted…kinda…I would’ve liked to have appeared to have had a job….but otherwise it was amazing. I was literally hurt when I woke up because I knew it wasnt real. I was SUPER disappointed.

This might seem strange because it was just a dream and all, but Im gonna be keeping my eyes peeled for him until I find him. This dream just HAS to come true…

…some dreams come true dont they?

On my mind.

I decided it would be a good idea to spend some time with Jesus…thats always a good idea lol! But before I picked up my bible I was praying and Im usually lead to a scripture that I need to read and it usually speaks directly into my life. I was given Romans 5.

Two main points stood out to me. 1. While we were God’s enemies He sent Jesus to die for us to put an end to the beef. 2. Just like sin infected us through the sin of Adam, Grace because of Jesus is even more abundant and infectious for us.

I sat and thought about all that and asked questions, like, what it means to be an enemy? and how have I felt towards people who’ve done me wrong? and I then related that to my personal transgressions against God which then caused me to ponder on who God is, and remembering that HE IS HOLY, and processing what that really means. Its all really deep, so deep that you could dig for eternities…but for me in this moment I boiled it all down to some simple things like, How great is this love that a totally Holy God would make a way to have relationship with me after I totally ruined it, and even continue to ruin it. Though His grace he fixed what I screw up. And I totally deserve Him being ticked at me, and yelling at me, and smacking me, and destroying me. He doesnt. Somehow he manages to constantly look on me with love…drawing me with love. It really is a lot to try and hold in my thoughts. Its really not an understandable or a containable thing.

S/N: You know what sucks about the past. You cant change it. But the blessing is that there is future. Im not sure how much I have, but I know that I will use whatever of it that I have to right wrongs, make good on promises, and be who I should’ve always been…all with Gods help.

When people stop in the middle of a crowded hallway

thefunniestpost:

laughing medicine here!!

(via yeahmicah)

Im watching Love and Hip Hop reruns and…

I know Im late but…Chrissy asks Jimmy to marry her, ok fine whatever. I’d never do anything like that because Im too much of a woman for that. But it definitely shows what type of man, or lack of man, Jim Jones is. First of all you let her out do you, buy you a ring, and slide it on your finger…I mean watching all of it go down just made him look like a sissy. AND Im noticing on the new season she still has no ring, but he can buy an Audi. Like, what kind of man lets his woman buy him an engagement ring and then doesnt buy her one and seal the deal for her since he knows thats what she truly wanted. He knows shes been waiting on a ring. And he didnt even technically say yes. “Im witchu,” what is that??? AND the next day hes not even wearing the super expensive ring she she bought him.  All he gets her is a hotel room to so he can knock it down. Shameful. Shes better than me. I would’ve BEEN gone. Shes not going anywhere though; Chrissy knows she wont have anything without him, because he’s her source of income. She doesnt have her own, and she wont leave that ‘security,’ I get that.

Then he tried to write a song to “calm her down” when shes trying to talk to him about how she really feels and he wont even acknowledge her feelings, he writes her a song to just side step it. A REAL man will take responsibility for her feelings and check her out and make sure shes okay.

On the other hand, she cant be mad if he wasnt ready. You cant force a man to be with you and treat you the way you want to be treated if its not what he wants. If he respects you and what you have you’ll know. Truthfully, its her fault because shes been playing house, and Jim is having his cake and eating it too…he hasnt had to work for her for 6 and some odd years, so its wrong of her to try and make him do anything different now. She was in the wrong for trying to force him and as a woman she over stepped her bounds. They keep saying sometimes you have to give a man a push, but that isnt one of those situations. If he really wanted het it wouldnt matter if he was scared, or whatever, he would’ve made it happen. Its in a man’s DNA to get what he wants and to be the first to get it, and leave no room or give any man place to get his woman… thats how men are created…unless they’re punk made…

The truth is men and women need to know their roles and operate in them. Men need to step up and be men, and women need to stop trying to run everything and be woman. Both men and women need each other, and women are stupid to think they can have this independent attitude like they can do everything on their own and like they dont need anybody.  Ask any single mother, Im willing to bet everything that I own that they dont wish they had a man to help with the bills and help watch and parent their kid(s).

…just my thoughts….

My thoughts on men.

I come from a really large family…mostly male, and I was blessed to be surrounded by a family of standup men.  Which, I guess is why I have a pretty low tolerance for foolishness from men. Its funny to me how all of the men that I know outside of my family are pretty big on being manly and masculine, and its like, you are naturally male, you cant actually be any more manly than you already are. Your X and Y chromosomes got all the man stuff covered for you. Relax! 

As a woman, I never have to take into account if what Im doing makes me more female or womanly, I just put on my mascara and go on about my business and I just am a woman. For the most part its a natural thing. I will say that I had to figure out who I was going to be as a woman, but the actual woman part just came natural.

I feel sorry for men who feel like they constantly have something to prove, but I guess thats their nature. Its apart of what makes them a man. All male animals have something to prove…especially to the female, because thats how they continue their bloodline, and also to the male to show their superiority.  I just wish that men werent so consumed by it. Like, its more attractive to me if a man isnt trying to hard than if hes always running around like a Bird of Paradise making a big show. For me, theres something really really attractive about someone who is secure in who they are, because that makes me feel secure when Im with them. Guys who always have to prove their manliness come off as really insecure, and immature. Kinda like a little boy walking around in his father’s tie and dress shoes…pretending…because under all of the man clothes hes still a little boy…

Too many men try and find their identity in being man, when really they should seek to find their identity in Christ. Finding identity in Christ brings about that security that men look for in their own manliness. We are created by Christ so He knows us better than we know ourselves and He knows whats best for us, which is why we will only truly find ourselves in Him. Otherwise, we will just spend our days chasing out tails, wasting time, and not becoming effective people, which for me, is the definition of a real man. 

When the Lord brings me a mate he will have drive and ambition, he will first be secure in Christ which will allow him to be confident in himself, and he will truly cherish me.  …I’m waiting…

I’m just so excited to see what God has in store for me.

sowgenerosity:

(via yeahmicah)

michaeldougy:

Exactly what I want to say.

No Better Time (Help Me Find My Own Flame) by United Pursuit Band

“I don’t want to ride on somebody else’s passion
I don’t want to find that I’m just dry bones
I want to burn with unquenchable fire
Deep down inside see it coming alive

Help me find my own flame
Help me find my own fire
I want the real thing
I want Your burning desire

Do what only You can do
In my heart tonight,

There’s no better time
There’s no better time
There’s no better time
There’s no better time”

I was just thinkin…

I think we let our emotions get in the way of the reality of our relationship with God.

As humans its hard not relying on what we see and feel, but our spiritual well being depends on cultivating some type of awareness and differentiation between the natural and the spiritual.

I find that a lot of people completely neglect the spiritual side of themselves which usually leaves them trying to compensate for that deficiency in other areas, which is pretty useless.

I strive to find a healthy balance.

I’d hate myself if I were one of those extreme legalists who strive to live super perfect spotless lives.  Its cool though, I need them to exist so I can use the grace they’re not using, cause I be needing a little extra lol

I’d also hate it if I was a flake that wasnt serious at all…never thought about my actions, had zero relationship with the Father, and just was living life based on my feelings…thats no way to live. Feelings change like the wind, my life would be completely unstable.

Christ is my stability. Im alive in Him.

Its sooo good to have that relationship with Him.

I dont think people understand the concept that you can know God, like know Him like you know your momma (for those who dont know their moms insert someone that you do know).

If you dont know God, I’d encourage you do so.

Its the best thing EVER.